Friday, December 31, 2010

In the last two hours of 2010...

“If you think back and replay your year, if it doesn't bring you tears either of joy or sadness, consider it wasted.”


Finally taking some time to reflect upon 2010 in the final hours before we enter 2011. Not that I don't reflect much; on the contrary if the words of my friends and family members are to be believed, I might be guilty of reflecting too much. Of course I would beg to differ. ;)

Been reading through my friends' sharing of their 2010 through FB notes, blog posts and meet ups in the past week. We tend to be more introspective and maybe a little pensive when reflecting upon what we have done, what we did not do, and even things that we could have done. I was reading through S's account of her months in 2010 and B's general ruminations of his year and I started thinking about my own 2010. In a sense, 2010 is my year, as well as S's and B's. Because we all had our own versions of 2010, we all went through different and deeply personal, individualised experiences, which gives each and everyone of us ownership of sorts over 2010.

So, how is my 2010? (Can't use "was" as it is technically still 2010, haha). I think my 2010 mirrored the weather today, the last day of 2010. It started out warm and sunny, with clouds gathering before the drizzles started which progressed to a torrential downpour in the late afternoon before easing into a mellow yet glorious sunset.

I do not remember events much, I am more of a seemingly random moments-driven kinda gal. Like smses from S before I left which left me with a teary smile, hugs from friends which still leave an imprint on me, conversations on buses with W and C, conversations over meals and good wine and company at VnJ's, cab rides back with A, FB PMs with Y, LT, D, L, Skype convos with G, and walks all around the Marina area with B. I made up with important people in my life, got to know and lost the non-important ones and shed both happy and sad tears along the way.

2010 will also be the year when I completed my thesis in "record" time, managed to complete the last min amendments and submitted, got it verified this week, so that is something off my list! All of it would not have been possible without my friends and family and colleagues at NUS who have supported me all the way, especially through the tough times when I ask myself why it seemed a breeze for others to complete their graduate degree yet things kept cropping up for mine and my sneaky friend called self-doubt tried to squeeze through that crack. Felt a little emotional when I wrote my acknowledgements this week. Heh. :)

2010 will go down as the year of surprises, where I got accepted to do my post-grad in HK and I finished up my thesis and submitted while dealing with the paperwork of the new University, packed up and left without bidding many goodbyes ( yes I suck at them), cried during my flight and adjusted to my new life in HK. It was not without its challenges but my new friends in the new city really made a difference and I think I've learnt to appreciate HK in my own quirky way.

2010 will also the year of the interplay of the mind and heart and how even the combination of them cannot beat the winds of fate or the plans that He has for me. With things coming one after the other, I had to make quick yet measured decisions. "To stay or go?" came up many times in many contexts. So many things have happened that I did not anticipate and decisions made where I had to be honest to myself and ask myself some really honest yet tough questions.

I have learnt not to overthink and to deal with the situations the best I can at that point in time. He has also dealt me some curveballs that I did not see coming, from my HK acceptance to my thesis to my relationships. Honestly, I think I was more flummoxed, sometimes incredulous, than feeling that I was being tested but if there's one lesson that I have learnt, it would be that things have this way of sorting themselves out, even if the endings are not what I hoped for. From the possiblity of me having to come back to SG for good because of things in SG to chance encounters with ex-es in SG.

What will 2011 bring? I have no idea as to what my 2011 will be like, as B said, my life is a "constant state of flux". But what I do know is that no matter what happens, I will live for the many moments that it will bring, learn to appreciate them and with it the love and support from family and friends who have been steadfast all the way. But for now, thanks to everyone who have been a part of my 2010, yes this is to all of you who've been tagged in this post and to those who are not on FB, you peeps know who you are. ;)  Here's to a good 2011, and may we learn to appreciate the "Good Life" (see lyrics below)! Cheers! :)


Good Life - One Republic
[Verse 1]

Woke up in London yesterday
Found myself in the city near Piccadilly
Don't really know how I got here
I got some pictures on my phone

New names and numbers that I don't know
Address to places like Abbey Road
Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want


We're young enough to say

[Chorus]

Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

[Verse 2]

To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Col-or-ado

Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e


What there is to complain about

[Bridge 1]

When you're happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in

[Bridge 2]
Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cuz hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about