Saturday, November 7, 2009

Birthday 2009 - Awesome, Love, Introspective

Been too busy to blog these days, too busy to even keep track of my life, suffice to say that there's a lot going on. :)

Students noticed me the days leading up to my birthday this year, as some wished me in class on my birthday eve when they saw me dressed up for my birthday celebrations. I felt a little awkward but I guess it's time for a change and am making the best of my super hectic schedule this sem.

This entry really does not do justice to those who planned and celebrated my birthday this year, but suffice to say that it was a series of celebrations which stretched for a couple of weeks, from two weeks before the date to two weeks after, am grateful and thankful for all who took time out of their busy schedules. Just the meet ups were more than enough, but to meet up with loved ones were using my birthday was the icing on the cake, no pun intended! :)

Also, I realised that while I'm really grateful to all the well wishes online, most of my closest friends are more active offline, which led to me taking a hiatus from my online haunts, esp FB. Perhaps I'm starting to suffer FB fatigue, esp since I have been keeping track of FB for my thesis. Heh.

Think my love for food, one of the consistent loves of my life, among others, is evident in my friends' choices for my birthday. In my bday week alone, I had the good fortune of trying out eight different cuisines in seven days, from the eclectic (middle eastern) to the perennial favs (dim sum, Jap). But good food does feel lacking somewhat if enjoyed without good company and I do feel blessed with both for my birthday.

Honestly, I am not a fan of my birthdays, though I love organising and celebrating birthdays of close friends and family. Think the weeks preceding my birthday were a whirlwind of events which left me feeling lost and bleak. It was also a period of introspection, which did not do me much good, honestly. Will not go much into it here, just a note to remind myself of that bittersweet period. Bitter because of what was happening then and sweet because through the bleakness, the tiny but steady glow of friendship shone through.

As I blew out the many candles for my birthday this year at the different venues, with different groups of friends, the candles represented more than just my age, they represented the love and general awesomeness of my friends and their silent promise to be there for me when all's dark. A promise which they made good recently. And I am grateful and humbled.

This year, I also promised myself to not repeat the trend of birthdays for the last two years, to spend it with beaus who ended up being boyfriends and were all wrong for me. The temptation was there, but in the end, I decided to spend a very stormy Halloween with friends. Although it was cold and rainy outside, I felt warm and loved by peeps who I know will be there for me long after the heat and passion of a love affair has cooled. Ok, good food, company and wine did help some! ;) Also bought for myself a new baby this year to replace my long suffering PC of seven years - a spanking new MacBook! Was a little offended when a friend thought that someone had got it for me - I like and value my independence, even if it means scrimping for the rest of the month! Received lovely gifts from friends as well, got another robin blue pouch again this year... had a Breakfast at Tiffany's moment - special gifts from special friends. :)

As I heard the storm raging on my birthday, I took it as a sign that all the unhappy and bad stuff that has happened in the last year will be washed away, and as I stepped out of the car on my way back, I took a deep breath of the cool, fresh after rain air and hoped for a new beginning.

Which brings me to my song, took me a long time to select this song but I think that this is my fav song for a reason. It sums up how life is constantly changing, how we should embrace the change and what life has in store for us. Nice clip from one of my fav movies too, really like Meg Ryan's character in the movie as well. :)


Dreams - The Cranberries
Oh, my life is changing everyday,

In every possible way.
And oh, my dreams, it's never quite as it seems,
Never quite as it seems.

I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more,
Because it came from you.
And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,
A different way to be.

Ah, la da ah...
La...

I want more impossible to ignore,
Impossible to ignore.
And they'll come true, impossible not to do,
Impossible not to do.

And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me.
You're what I couldn't find.
A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind;
You're everything to me.

Oh, my life,
Is changing every day,
In every possible way.

And oh, my dreams,
It's never quite as it seems,
'Cause you're a dream to me,
Dream to me.

Ah, da, da da da, da, la...