Thursday, July 9, 2009

Smile :: I'll be there

Watched the MJ memorial serivce, was especially touched by Brooke Shield's eulogy, not so impressed by some of the performances of MJ's hits. I think it finally hit me during the service, seeing the casket and all, that the King of Pop is really not with us anymore, though his music will. Saw how affected some of his close friends in the business were, sombre faces on the stage at the finale act of We are the world-Heal the world. Some of the eulogies described Michael Jackson in terms of his music, most of them, as a person and how outside the his life as an entertainer, he tried to lead a normal life, in spite of his prodigious talent. More than once, his child molestation allegations were put down and refuted, drawing applause from the crowd and a standing ovation from daughter Paris.

Gave a talk to freshies yesterday, they seemed a more subdued bunch but I think the enthusiasm from their seniors will rub off them. :) Saw a lot of student camps going on when I was in school, not letting the rainy weather put a dampner on their activities. Also reminded me of the good old times when I was an undergrad.

Met A in school yesterday, we chatted for a long time. Dun remember actually talking to her one on one. I know tt she was there to play the role of the mediator, but I think that enough is enough for me. I hate it when my tolerance is taken advantage of. We agreed to keep the conversation between us, because I do not owe anyone an explanation. I think A was resigned as she left and I had already told her to not invite me to anymore gatherings if it puts her in a spot. It wasn't easy to say that but I dun want to put her in a spot. She's a great pal and I know that without meeting all the time.

Met B after that - serendipity!! We had a good talk, updating each other on our progress in our writing... I think he has a lot of good ideas coming up, talking to B is always a pleasure! Broached on the touchy subject as well. Shall not elaborate out of respect to his wishes. He could see that I was feeling really down about it, affected as well. Meeting him helped take my mind off things some.

Decided to hang out in HV for drinks with J who came down after work. We talked about everything and anything. About toxic relationships and friendships. About the MJ memorial, which he did not watch because he wasn't ready. It helped to talk things over with him and his advice and perspectives comforted me some. We also did a lot of fun stuff like people watching and counting up the number of what ifs at Wala Wala. Received smses from friends thoughout the day which comforted me a lot as well. Friends and family often tease me for giving others the benefit of doubt, though I think I've learnt in the past year to give up on others who are not worth it, L thinks that we should learn how to protect ourselves better, which I agree, though I seem to be lacking in this. Read this quote a couple of days back which made a lot of sense to me, not just in romantic relationships, but also in how I deal with other relationships as well.

"Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less..."

Still feeling pretty mixed after yesterday's sessions, but many friends dropped me a line which helped take my mind off things - working on my thesis helped too! T put it perfectly when she said that I now know who my true friends are. My weekend is packed with Citadels sessions, thanks to S!! Also going bridesmaid dress shopping on Sunday with my 2 BFF, yea! Hope to squeeze in a swim if possible. Also hope to do the photoshoot with B before school begins. :)

Was wondering which of the two MJ songs in my title to put up today - decided on Smile, because it's a song I can relate to these days and it was MJ's fav song. J said that this song reflects me to some extent! I did not realise till the memorial service tt it was originally featured in Modern Times, Charlie Chaplin's last silent film. Imagine, a tune written by Charlie Chaplin! My favourite takes on this song are by Nat King Cole and Harry Connick Jr.

Michael Jackson (1958-2009) - Ben

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile