Thursday, October 23, 2008

It's an insult to Singapore women - CAUTION!

Received an sms from G this evening on my way home telling me he had read this rebuttal to the article I posted on Sunday about the local guy who married a China gal. Ok everyone, I know emotions will run high and there might (will) be a gender debate, but let's try to keep things civil ok? :)

Friends know that I've always rooted for the local guys and Ithink this guy's words just do not hold; the mere publishing of his piece was to either incite a response from us Singaporean gals or agreement/disagreement with the Singaporean guys. Anyways, I think it's his gain and not my loss he has a China bride. What do you think of this (scathing) rebuttal? ;)


Oct 23, 2008

It's an insult to S'pore women

I REFER to Mr Alvin Tan's letter last Sunday, 'Why I chose a China bride'. I am astonished that a single passage could make me feel insulted, tickled and disbelieving all at once. Mr Tan is either seriously misinformed of the needs and wants of the modern Singapore woman, or is still steeped in the traditional notion of how men and women should behave.

First, I am unclear of his intention. I believe his marriage to his Chinese bride was between two people truly in love. Why then the need to defend his choice? Why the need to accuse thousands of Singapore women of being clueless of what they want, or even imply indirectly we all want to be treated as the weaker sex?

What also puzzles me is how Mr Tan manages to equate wanting a date to be gentlemanly with wanting to be the weaker sex. If wanting a man to hold the door open for a woman, an act of 'gentlemanliness', can be construed as weakness, does my ability to open my own door signify how strong and masculine I am? I pray not, or I would face a serious identity crisis.

And really, does having our own career or equal abilities to men mean we have become men ourselves? The 'equal footing' treatment we demand is recognition of our abilities to carry out our jobs. Not to be treated like men, but acknowledgement that we are as capable as men. If we 'should expect to be treated equally - the way men treat other men', then perhaps from the perspective of a woman, the equal treatment Mr Tan is looking for is to be treated like a best buddy-cum-girlfriend and not boyfriend material.

Mr Tan also insinuates that, if women want equality, they should see themselves home after a date, as 'there is no need for the man to escort' her. Men with such a mentality make bad dates, or do not have sufficient affection for the woman they are dating. Not wanting to escort your girlfriend home means you don't care about her.

Mr Tan, I am happy you found someone to love and care for. But there was no need to collectively insult the entire female population in Singapore, simply because you were unable to find someone to suit your needs here. I am certain we know what we want in a man - someone who respects us, treats us equally (not like other men) and has no reservations about being a gentleman.

Sherry Aw (Ms)

1 comment:

Priscilla said...

I think good for him that he has found someone he wants. Let's not care or bother about losers like him. Hahaha. Good riddance I'd say.