Thursday, June 26, 2008

It's been a surreal week

Planned to take time off this week to settle some health issues. Needed to be homebound as a remedy recommended by a doc had some potentially serious side effects. Canceled most appointments, rescheduled some and gave one advanced notice. And as the best plans went, it went brilliantly... afoul.

I was hit with the devastating discovery of a lie on Sunday night, had to face some problems and issues on Monday and Tuesday and my worst fears were confirmed on Wednesday about a very dear colleague leaving us suddenly at short notice. By yesterday, my heart was weary and my spirit on the brink of breaking down. Tears were shed, accusations flung and hurtful words were exchanged till we were spent and drained. Sleepless nights were spent tossing and turning in bed, hoping and wishing for the best and thinking of possible resolutions to the various problems.

But maybe breaking point has its own breaking point. While helping to cook pancakes (comfort food) for dinner (dun ask y) yesterday, I think I might have reached that stage. Or maybe it was wat dear gal pal T smsed: "Sometimes it's good to take a "whatever" stance. If you have done all that you can already."

Two important people came into my life around this time last year and their sudden abrupt departure has taken me by surprise and sadness. I respect them both - one was a dear colleague who taught me how to taught, leading by example and always, always, placing the students first. Her endless dedication to the craft and students have earned her the respect of students and colleagues alike. More than that, she's been my inspiration when the going got tough at times. Her sudden departure's taken me by surprise, more shock than surprise really, and I spent the whole day yesterday and today mulling over the injustice she faced. Had lunch with her today - it wasn't the Kleenex affair as expected, but I think that she is one tough cookie and kudos to her for that.

Another one's a friend, before anyone starts the rolling of eyes and sniggering, I'll state for the record that in the end, I still think that he is one of the best guys I know. He has been there for me during some of my most difficult periods with nary a complaint and has an almost uncanny understanding of me. He's literally the guy who brings hot comforting soup on a cold rainy day, who accommodates me as much as he can, goes the extra mile and most of all, supports and believes in me and my goals. Think it's all too easy to focus on the bad stuff when things go awry, but in the end, after everything, hopefully some of the good stuff remains. Was reading a novel which bore an incredible semblance to the current situation, esp a line on pg 418. Think that line just about sums up everything perfectly from my end.

My spirits were buoyed today, however, by great news coming from BFF C - it's time to pop the champagne babe!! ;) Thanks for being the bearer of the good news I've been waiting for the whole day, even though it's your success. Totally needed that - some hope that good things do happen to good people after all.

Think tonight's post reminds me to be grateful to the people around me: family, friends, colleagues, students; who inspire, motivate and support me through every day, esp the bad times. Thank you.

"You raise me up... To more than I can be."

UPDATE: Re your smses and msgs, yes, comments have been turned off for this post. Friends know how to contact me if they want to; as for the rest, your take is not needed for this. Thanks.